Well, I am out of motivation to push this series further, and feel it is time to conclude what should be painfully obvious to those who are paying attention to the trends and directions that America is taking these past, what, couple of decades at least?
I have decided to use a model that isn’t just unique to substance abuse/dependency to show how the personality disordered continues to thrive, not just survive mind you, and nestle into almost all venues of our lives here. And that is the enabling/codependency paradigm.
Frankly, I don’t have the strength to go into much detail to these concepts for those reading here who might be a bit unclear for what these terms entail. So, I offer the usual links to aid and enlighten:
Why am I talking about this, when addiction is not the topic here? Because I think that addiction is quite the example of, at the very least, situational personality disorder spawned by chemical means. Addicts become the most selfish, self destructive, and utterly clueless group of people in our society while in the height of chemical dependency. Which is what a sizeable percentage of personality disordered people can be as well.
Think about this for a minute: what do the dependent, histrionic, borderline, and narcissist need? Both a general audience and more specific complicit folk to not only buy into their narratives and agendas, but, provide the faux nurturing and empty empathy. Where would these characterological people be without their trio of the clueless optimist, the reckless idealist, and the most annoying and at times almost dangerous, the irrational if not terminal crusader for causes that the personality disordered person has falsely sold for wear.
I know, I have met these folks who think they can not only defend and apologize for the personality disordered person who is creating disruption, chaos, and discord, but, go the extra mile and at times almost echo the immature and pathological defenses of their “victim”, or “mistreated”, or my favorite, the “misunderstood”. Nah, once you continuously interact with the personality disordered person, the sense of antipathy being evoked is not misunderstood, it is why there is no genuine sense of empathy.
As a bit of an aside, this post from MIA yesterday, to me at least, was both a bit sad and equally misleading.
In it, the author seems to attempt to lay out how his/her mistreatment for being involuntarily hospitalized for a suicide attempt makes the author a pure and never ending victim of the system. And yet, there is no explanation to what was behind the incident that led to the hospitalization, whether it was a genuine attempt or just a reckless gesture, and remember readers, there is a concept of the “lethal gesture” that is never excusable, especially for the survivors of the suicide.
Just note this, I think illustrative of the enabler, in this case the patient’s mother in this story above:
“Then my mother is called up to the witness stand. She looks very composed. My attorney asks her why she wants to see me released rather than kept longer on the ward. She says, “I think that the doctors on the ward have done a very good job stabilizing her. She is much better now.” I am not sure why she said that, but it may have been her attempt to seem sober and moderate, not a rebel, like she is.
Then she goes in for the kill. “In fact, Serafina is ready for therapy now; she needs it. But there is no therapy for her on the ward while she is waiting to be released. To keep her from being healed is so damaging to her, so counter to psychiatry as I know it.” She shakes her head in dismay.
Then she continues, sitting up very straight, “And we’ve set up a crisis management team for our daughter when she is released. She’ll be safe.” She goes on, “My daughter has gone through so much to overcome her debilitating depression – she worked terribly hard to save herself, but even her doctor had come to the end of his rope. Her suicide attempt came out of desperation, not because she wanted to die. When she woke up from the coma, she felt hopeful again. But instead of treatment that feeds that hope, she has been locked up for weeks. She is stabilized, but she needs more. She is seeking recovery, but each day that she remains locked up, she feels worse. Her hope declines.” She pauses and goes on again, “What she has gone through, I don’t think I could have done. She is a hero; we should honor her and help her to heal, not lock her up and tell her to be remorseful.”
That is the monologue of the textbook enabler, forget this is a psych patient scenario for a moment, how many times have we heard this from the enabler for the addict, especially in court rooms?
Perhaps I could be accused of manipulating the above post story by NOT noting this next comment in there out of order, but, I note this here, it was said earlier when the psychiatrist was interviewed first before the patient’s mother:
“While I am waiting, Dr. L and then our social worker testify. Dr. L states that I am not only bipolar but have borderline personality disorder, and thus am able to manipulate my family into siding with me and trying to manipulate the court (frankly his diagnosis seemed manipulative to me).”
Wonder if that took some of the wind out of the author’s sails in trying to mount the defense the patient thought could be effectively used.
Anyway, this post could go into more discussion about the pros/cons, the strengths/weaknesses of enabling and codependent behaviors with those who need these cohorts to maintain status in the dependents’ dysfunctional world, but, I don’t have that time or energy to do so. I think this picture does a decent job of noting the enabler’s eventual consequences if not redirected, hence the role of Al-Anon/Nar-Anon:
What I would like to finish the series with is this: as long as the Personality Disordered Folks in this country continue to multiply in numbers and eventually risk becoming the majority in America, I think we have to wonder if there will be an eventual culture split, to me like the premise in Stephen King’s novel “The Stand“, where good collects in the heartland of the U.S., and where do the evil and impaired wind up? OH, in Vegas, ironic or very harsh symbolism, only Mr King can answer that fully.
Note that I am NOT saying all with Personality Disorder are evil and destructive, but, the pervasive nature of the subgroups that are the narcissist and antisocial present a dilemma for those who are not selfish and destructive, and these two personality disorders I feel are the quickest growing group at hand here. Do we, should we, must we divide to attempt survival? I don’t know, but, I feel the status quo, with watching the pervasive 35 + % of each portion of the Republocrat Party vote Trump or Clinton, says to me I am not comfortable with such a status quo.
I am just trying to follow the cartoon illustration below from King’s novel at the end, and say the same: “This ain’t right! We was Americans once! I wasn’t much before, but, I know this ain’t how Americans act!”
No, this isn’t how healthy and functional Americans should act, but, here comes another adage that seems to survive the times: “Hear the lie enough, the lie becomes the truth!” And, I think Trump, and moreso Clinton, depend on that from their supporters, but moreso, better described as their mob!
Read up on “The Stand”, it might be illuminating, or even more painfully, it might be prophetic? You read and decide, thanks for your time and energy in reading the series!