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This is a hodge podge of commentary per things that have really pissed me off, but let’s start first with the last time I will read at the http://www.psychcentral.com/blog.  How to present this latest disrespect to me?  Well, first the post I read last week:


Then, my first comment I wrote, that was printed:

5/3/2018 at 9:53 pm


Sorry, I disagree, as a mental healthcare professional it is not healthy for a parent to frame a child as a best friend.Children are a dynamic that is different than friendship, so I hope the author of this post rethinks this and considers how this can cause a lot more harm than benefit.Joel Hassman MD,Board certified psychiatrist


And then the author wrote this as an alleged rebuttal:

5/6/2018 at 5:46 pm


Apparently neither one of you have had the pleasure of raising a teenage daughter. Nor are you authorized to slander or tarnish my personal experience. You have made my first published blog a very negative experience. This is my blog and you are welcome to move on and not read it.
Thank you both for your professional and intelligent feedback. 

Now, things have gotten a bit murky, I wrote this Monday night, and it was printed on Tuesday AM,

5/7/2018 at 4:39 pm


Dr/Ms Amster:While I appreciate you did allow my comment in the thread, I have to say per your last comment from 5/6/18 PM to be a bit unprofessional. Yes, you are right, I did not have the pleasure of raising one teenage daughter, but, two of them, and I love my children tremendously to a point I would gladly lay down my life to save theirs. But, I do not see either of them as a “best friend”, and I noted your column to my wife who agreed with me she does not frame her relationship with them as a “best friend” dynamic.I have been practicing psychiatry for over 25 years, and in my travels, perhaps a skewed assessment per what patients have brought into the office and not just interviewing anyone off the street, I would say with 90% accuracy the women who have identified their daughter or mother as their best friend have had interpersonal issues that played a role in their seeking mental health care services. I stand by what I wrote last week: children are NOT our friends, but, our family members, and that is a dynamic that I view transcending friendship.You certainly are entitled to your opinion and perspectives, but, so am I. If your viewpoints and frameworks sustain you personally and professionally, congratulations. I believe you are the 10% exception to this perspective about a child is a best friend, and I hope you will consider this opinion, not agree with it, but certainly not frame it as a negative experience and make assumptions without reaching out to a commenter first privately as we give an email address to get a comment published.

I wish you well in your endeavors as a professional and blog writer. Be prepared for criticism, dissent, and sometimes frank trolling that is beyond harsh and inappropriate. But, you moderate, and do it wisely and responsibly. You are completely correct, we can move on and not read your opinions. But, maybe sometimes others will be empowered and impressed, while some will just shrug and say, whatever.

Been writing for over 5 years, and frankly, those who hate me seem to want to note it over and over if given the chance. Hence the beauty of moderation…

Again, thank you for the respect to print my earlier comment at least.


Joel Hassman, MD


but then last night there were an alleged two more comments that would not appear, but then I get this personal email from John Grohol this afternoon who, well, I will print it and risk his wrath as a betrayal of alleged confidentiality?:

Hi Joel,

Thanks for your comments on the “Giving birth to your best friend” article on Psych Central’s World of Psychology blog.
As you know, we abide by and ask that our commenters abide by a set of blog moderation guidelines for discussions. That means you should refer not to an author or their experience or credentials, but to the topic at hand. It’s not enough to just say, “Well based upon my 25 years of experience, I disagree.” You’re entitled to your opinion, but not to publish said opinion if it attempts to tarnish another person by calling them “unprofessional,” appealing to authority as an argument, or by suggesting that they are making it their own “negative experience.” 
We do not share email addresses with other commenters, nor does a blog author have access to a person’s email address who comments on their blog.
We’re a wide-ranging platform that is tolerant of all views, no matter how much we may disagree with them. We hope you understand the line between ad hominem attacks against a contributor, and thoughtful discussion about a given topic. Usually you are pretty good with this, but this time around, I’m sorry to say we had to remove these comments as violating our blog moderation guidelines.
Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance, and I thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

And then, I go to the site to see what he did about her comment or if he added an addendum to the discussion, but, lo and behold my second comment was GONE.  Well, until I have started this post, and it is now magically back, along with others since added.

Here’s a link to the thread for all to read and digest:


Even after seeing the comment has been restored, my faith of Psychcentral.com/blog has been tarnished, and I am still going on record as saying my travels there are done.  I will say to readers who might read there, read and comment at your own peril, but, realize there are snowflakes to be nurtured there, and while Dr Grohol might take some umbrage to the way I frame this here, well, sorry, that is the message I take as of now.


Anyway, moving on to bigger and more obnoxious matters, on Saturday I get this letter from the State of Maryland that I have to take time and my money to be fingerprinted to prove to the State I am not a danger to patients and colleagues.  Having read up on the matter this afternoon at lunch, I do get a bit of the reasoning behind it, but, to pay for it, nah, forget the State of Maryland, I pay $520 every two years for keeping my license to practice, and the State runs this fingerprinting process, so they can eat $40-50 bucks for doctors to show they are legit, until proven otherwise.

God, it’s bad enough I am treated like shit at the assignments I work these past few years overall (some facilities have been nice, but the last two, never will work there again, count on those words here!).  Now I am a criminal until proven otherwise.


Finally, while I have commented on this over and over, including my last post, the Axis 2 shit that is so pervasive across the land, forget politics for a moment, is just so overwhelming to handle these days.  Selfishness, entitlement, and sheer arrogance and pettiness, well, I do have a drug for this, it’s called syrup of Ipecac, and people need to spew that garbage up and out.  What is this?


Thank God I only work 3 days a week of late, I am so burnt out Wednesday afternoons, I really appreciate the couple of years I accumulated 6000 plus songs on my original Ipod so I can listen to assorted playlists on my two hour drive home.  Music is the main source of rejuvenation for me, I recommend it highly to those who are dealing with burn out, pervasive aggravation, or sheer hostility in dealing with the masses these days!

I leave readers with a song that is rude, but, a catchy tune:

Sorry, I like the song, and it completes my evening, have a nice Mother’s day coming up, and not the Mother that Sam Jackson shouts with glee…

Addendum 30 minutes later:

I just wrote this comment, doubt it will be printed, but, for me to remember for prosperity and to note I try to end on a positive note as best possible.  Yeah, I know some will tell me, “not so positive there Joel”…

“As my last comment to be submitted to Psychcentral.com per the way this thread has been managed by both Dr Amster and Dr Grohol, I just want to go on record noting the inconsistencies that have gone on here:

Firs, to rebut the most recent comment by Staci Schnell, um, I hope you read the title and the first paragraph I will copy below:

“My mother always told me, “When you have a daughter you are giving birth to your best friend.” As I grew older and had a daughter of my own, that statement began to really ring true for me.”

That seems to reflect some missing information I feel Ms Schnell is overlooking that was quickly gleaned by me in my original read;

Next, I am baffled that I am being called out as being “authorized to slander or tarnish my personal experience” by the blog author here. Um, this is a call out to Dr Grohol specifically, where am I slandering the author’s experience!? He knows why I am bringing him into this thread, and frankly, I think he owes it not only to me, but to readers of this thread in the future, having blog authors agree to a thread and then publicly insult commenters is really poor form! ;

Finally, I want to note to readers of blogs, the authors and the editors ask us for our email addresses, and the point to this, as I have a blog as well, is to decide not only if to print a comment, but, to consider contacting the commenter personally as the comments are being moderated. Thus, if someone is really being a troll, outlandishly rude, or misinterpreting the point of a column (as that is being contested here by both author and other readers), it allows for private clarification and then move on to submitting the comment for discussion and consideration.

I have been a reader here for many years, and while I have at times been a bit outspoken and considered being a violator of the Psychcentral thread policies, I know in my heart I have never been intentionally disrespectful, harshly rude, or inconsiderate. But, after this column and comments and reaction by the site editor, I note I am moving on to other sites for information, perspectives, and discussion. I am genuinely sorry if I insulted Dr Amster with my original comment, it was intended as an observation and perspective, but, I will not recant it. Nor will I change my second comment in any form as well.

I think the “snowflake” phenomenon that is going on throughout America has seem to landed here as well, and I will not mince words in saying that if people can’t handle criticism, dissent, or outright disagreement, then, don’t write or work in mental health care! We are trying to help and educate people be more healthy and functional, and some will appreciate it, some will not understand it, and unfortunately, some will overtly be outraged and activated to rebel.

Hey, this is just my opinion, but one of 25 years in the trenches of mental health care as a psychiatrist, the past 5 plus years as a blog writer, and, over 50 years of being an American citizen.

Here’s my closing tip, again for anyone interested: I think personality disorder is running rampant in America, and if we don’t as professionals, as citizens, as family members, and as invested humans in general, try to regain a healthy and functional herd of our species, well, letting rigid and inflexible behaviors go unchallenged, good luck.

Thank you again for the opportunity to comment, be safe and well, and most of all, be true to who you are in your travels across the lands.


Joel Hassman, MD”

Flame on there Johnny Storm…